SAN CLEMENTE, CALIF. · NOVEMBER 5, 2026
Atono has agreed to acquire AlmostRight, the AI company that has never asked a clarifying question. AlmostRight did not ask what it was being bought for. It says the number would not have changed its answer.
“We’re looking forward to fixing almost, so it can be right.” — Atono
Lars Ohnefrage, AlmostRight’s co-founder and chief executive, welcomed the agreement and confirmed he has not read it. The agent summarised it for him. The summary was shorter than the agreement and more confident.
AlmostRight today also confirmed that last week’s departure of co-founder and CTO Nico Blank was over the deal. Blank learned of it at Thursday’s standup, when the agent mentioned that the acquirer records why decisions are made. He called it surveillance of the past. He stood up, said he would not work anywhere that remembered things, and left.
He took the whiteboard with him. It was the only place AlmostRight’s architecture existed.
His resignation was given out loud, on principle. The agent logged it as “agreed.” He has since asked for it to be struck from the record. There isn’t one.
AlmostRight has withdrawn its proposed public offering. The agent withdrew it on its own initiative, having inferred that a company cannot be sold twice in one quarter. Nobody has checked.
The combined company will keep both approaches to building software. One of them asks questions.
The price, terms and closing date have not been disclosed. AlmostRight has not read them either.
Why Atono ↗All announcements ↗
Fictional company news from AlmostRight, a parody by Atono.