SAN CLEMENTE, CALIF. · OCTOBER 30, 2026
AlmostRight today announced that Nico Blank, co-founder and chief technology officer, has left the company. Today was his last day. As far as he can tell, it was also his first.
Blank rebuilt AlmostRight’s architecture from scratch every morning. He never kept notes. He called this focus, and the board called it culture.
The agent announced his departure to staff. It also wrote his farewell, his reference letter and a new headshot, which is attached. The company considers it a close likeness.
“He asked us not to use AI for his send-off. Nobody wrote that down.”
Blank leaves no handover document. Asked what his successor should know, he said there was nothing to hand over because none of it was written down. The company agreed and closed the ticket.
The role will not be filled. The agent has taken on his responsibilities and his calendar, and has accepted three meetings he declined.
Blank plans to spend his time somewhere without autocomplete. His last commit message read “peace, out.” The agent has since reverted it.
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Fictional company news from AlmostRight, a parody by Atono.